Monday, March 29, 2010

my x-rated weekend

Here I am taking more of your time to talk about me... And I'm feeling less bad about it every time.

My weekend was pretty interesting, to say the least, and I think I should tell you all about it.

Why, you ask? Because I went to my first ever sex toy party.

I must admit... I talk a lot of game. I can talk about sex all day, but when it comes to seeing all these crazy toys, gadgets, creams, whatever... My face was bright red all afternoon. [Or maybe that was the hangover... Who knows.]

I'm not going to ease you into this. I'm going to show you the "heavy artillery" that our dildo lady brought to my fellow-stalker BFF's house....

Yeah... If I was never intimidated by a P before [or something that looks like it], I definitely was when these came out.

I won't even get into the different gadgets... You can do that on your own. All I'm sayin' is- If I ever invest $100+ into one of these, I will make sure it takes care of all 3 types of orgasms that a woman can have:
  • G-spot
  • C-word
  • Vajay-jay

[Other O fun facts: It's the best cure for a headache, and it burns 60-100 calories!]

This party was hilarious and so hands on! As we sat there eating our dingaling brownies, we also tested out a bunch of creams...

  • Did you know they have something that can numb the back of your throat?! It's called Heads Up, and it's goal is to prevent gagging.
  • Like A Virgin makes it so even after you get jiggy with it 23948 times, you still feel like it's the first time!
  • X-scream apparently takes us to the point of an O and keeps us there for hours. Wowza.

There's seriously a million things that left me with my mouth open in amazement. [No pun intended.] There's a whole world of sex out there that I didn't know existed!

I'm becoming speechless again. You'll have to check everything out for yourself on the website that our dildo lady represents. Be prepared to be amazed and want to spend a lot of money.

On another note, our night was just as hilarious. We brought out a brand new vibrator to a party at ODU and decided to have some fun... NOT with ourselves.

Best idea ever= Putting a vibrator in your back pocket and dancing with guys. This is how it should go:
"Your phone is... Wait... What is... What the f is that?!"
"Oh, just my vibrator."
Pull it out to show them quickly, then walk away.


Now I must go and.... Get some work done.